It does not appear that you have made the changes slater has pointed out. On top of that, items in the item build section warant more than just a 1-2 sentence description of what it is. It's not that difficult to read items. People want to know when/why they want to build them. For example, I have no idea why I would ever want to get warmogs on evelyn. All I know is that it gives health.

Runes, masteries, Skills, early game, mid game chapters all need more work. You're also missing a team fights chapter, which you need.

Work on the Runes and the Masteries section and you may get approved.

If you need magic resist, get Negatron Cloak for Abyssal Scepter or Banshee's Veil or Null-Magic Mantle for Guardian Angel. I would never get Athene's Unholy Grail because Evelynn does not have mana problem. Her W doesn't even cost mana. Also, I don't see why you should upgrade Tear of Godess into anything else than Archangle. I don't personally like to build that item but a good amount of AP combined with a second strong shield seems way more beneficial than more AD and more damage on her E. Remember that active bonus from Muramana only applies to single target abilities. If the descrition is wrong and it actually applies to all single target damage (which means it would work with all Evelynn abilities) I might change my mind.

I need to update this guide soon, too many changes and far less time than i expected, but you're right a Rylai's will increase the damage output with Liandry's.
The Furor enchantment (I believe that's the one you're talking) doesn't work on Q nor R only on E and auto-attacks so I believe it's not that worth.

How about Rylai's instead of Abyssal? Liandry's passive is doubled if target is slowed which would mean every Q or E would trigger it. 10% over 3 seconds is 5% over 1.5 seconds, which is cooldown of her Q. It will now indirectly deal additional damage equal to 5% of targets health. That is an amazing synergy and should not be missed out on. Sure, her ultimate also triggers this effect, but only once per team fight, and it lasts enough to be used on maybe one or two enemies. Rylai's would keep this passive activated whenever Evelynn fight.

Also, don't remember the enchantments on boots. I think the upgrade that gives 2 seconds of increased mobility synergizes best with Evelynn, as her Q can be spammed every 1.5 seconds, making her incredibly hard to lose when taking into account she can use her W to remove slows.

Game phases is NOT one chapter. You are required to have chapters for Early game, Mid game, Late game, and team fights if you hope to be approved.

Please work on your information as well, there's not enough of it, every where.

Ionic boots is something I never tried. You should try both builds and compare them in different situations and choose the one that fits your gameplay style best: pick the CDR for a late game carry with less mana dependency or the burst build for an aggressive roamer.

I'm trying a new build on Eve to balance for the lost of cooldown on DFG:

Holy Grail -> Ionic Boots -> Void staff
so you get cooldown reduction/mana regen + magic pen a bit later (getting some from mark runes)

Any though on that ?